Malaysia is an awkward pre-teenager in the tourism industry. It seems that Malaysia was thrown into the hospitality industry before it was fully ready, or maybe they just forgot to read “Customer Service for Dummies”. The Malays have mastered the art of the glossy brochure, but don’t quite understand that travelers have some expectations when they book a vacation.

I think it’s important to note that what we experienced on Malaysian Borneo and what we experienced on peninsular Malaysia were two different things, almost as if we were in two separate countries. The people on Borneo were really friendly and helpful, while on the mainland, they were the complete opposite. Being treated like an outsider is acceptable while touring in areas not typically exposed to western travelers. But we were treated more like outcasts in places like Kuala Lumpur and Penang (two very developed areas of Malaysia).

That’s not to say we didn’t run into friendly people in peninsular Malaysia, but it became obvious that we were not wanted by some people we encountered. We couldn’t quite figure out the pattern, until we noticed an overwhelming number of Chinese Muslim women completely ignoring us or treating us with a great deal of distain. We tried to eat at “Super Noodles” in KL and waited around for nearly 30 minutes while tables around us ordered their food, ate and departed. We were never approached by a waitress to even take our order. This happened several times in various shops around the city. This was especially clear at the ferry terminal when Muslim women pushed past us with not even an “excuse me” or “may I pass.” If I could read minds, it would have been more like, “get the hell out of the way you infidel.”

But despite the cold shoulder, we moved on with our plans to tour the various areas of Malaysia and experience as much as we could in such a short time. One of the things that we rely on to save us time and money is doing research online for hotels, transportation and activities. We’ve had great success in all our travels over the years using this technique. The unfortunate down side is that we’re forced to travel with 10 pounds worth of laptop and seek out local pre-paid internet access, or rely on cyber cafes and shared 28 kbps lines.

We have never had a problem getting a local dialup number for Internet access until we traveled to Malaysia. For a country so preoccupied with technology, growth and westernization, we were shocked to find that the entire telecom system was based on a per-minute fee (about $.10 per minute minimum no matter where we went). Furthermore, the only prepaid Internet access in Malaysia came directly from the telecom company in charge of the nation’s entire infrastructure. Usually we pick up pre-paid cards at places like 7-11 or any number of mini-mart stores.

In Malaysia we had to go directly to the Telkom (that’s the name of the big company) headquarters, running between the numerous offices trying to explain what we were looking for, to purchase a simple pre-paid card. Once we had the access card it was virtually useless due to the nature of the telephone systems in hotels and resorts. Of the places we found with phone systems, very few had IDD (international direct dial) phones. The ones that did charged insane rates to make a local call – charging by the minute for every call. The others required operator assistance to get an outside line.

This was just one example of how the infrastructure in Malaysia is severely lacking. The busses run consistently a few hours late, hotels routinely loose reservations (despite pre-payment); VIP busses are switched to minibuses half-way through trips. Hotels are never like the brochure … NEVER. Not even close. In addition, there must not be any regulations on travel agents in Malaysia. Either that or they believe that everyone’s ideal vacation consists of checking into a sub-standard hotel, eating a stale buffet and getting a wonderful sea-view room to remarkably resembles a busy street.

What we can only assume is that there are a few translation errors between Malay and English. Here are a few words we discovered:

Super: late, smelly, overbooked, no service. Interchangeable with the English word “sucks.”

VIP: Very Ignorant Person to have booked this mode of transportation or hotel.

SuperVIP: Combination of above terms.

Garden View Room: A patch of grass behind the dumpster.

Sea View Room: You pay for a sea view but get a street view. If moved to a street view, add the noise of runny toilet to depreciate value of sea view.

Leaves at ______: The bus, van, car will leave whenever it is so full that it can’t possibly fit another person. Generally this happens 2 hours after your scheduled time.

Telephone in Room: There is a phone in the room that was once in working condition, usually around the time the brochure photo was taken.

Mini Bar: Place for hotel to store overly priced items (this term is the same in America).